BITCHINESS: THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE FUGLY!!!
This is a phenomenon that we are all, sadly, aware of. We may have been a victim of it or we may have been the predator.
Let’s call it by it’s well known and often used title: BITCHINESS.
We shall use the word “bitch” here, as a positive and a tongue-in-cheek term. It erases the negative connotation attached to it and moulds it, into a positive and powerful one. It suggests a woman of substance and with depth to her character, regardless whether she chooses to turn that same character, into a malevolent or a benevolent one.
When women get together, good women that is, they normally support and care for one another. This is called SISTERHOOD. However, this Sisterhood doesn’t always triumph in environments of love and kindness. Most of the time, in situations where women get together, Sisterhood is not felt, rather, it is displayed quite exaggeratedly, through genuine fakeness.
Niceties are replaced with falsities. Some women are champions at this.
Fake smiles, fake compliments , fake kindness are used, to mask the real feelings of envy, jealousy, and dare I say, plain nastiness for the sake of being nasty. And this is when Bitchiness shows its ugly, horrible head.
I read somewhere that, girls compete with each other while women support and encourage one another. This statement explains a whole lot.
Grown women, wise women, mature and confident women support each other because they are confident in who they are, while girls have cat fights or passive aggressive, silent treatment battles.
If a person is happy in their own skin, happy with their life and happy with themselves, then there would be no space in their hearts to carry malice and negativity towards another person.
This is how grown women are. They encourage their fellow women, they support, they give genuine compliments and they lift their sisters up. This is where Sisterhood thrives and wins. It is the bond of the Sisterhood. However, there is always a downside to everything.
There are “little girls” who disguise themselves as grown women and make trouble out of an otherwise peaceful unity between the sisters, hence, Bitchiness rears its ugly head again.
This brings us to a whole slew of questions that men have asked for centuries. Perhaps even Adam had serious discussions about Eve with God, or with the dreaded snake, depending on how bitchy Eve got.
However, why would we call being Bitchy, bad?
It shouldn’t be, unless you use your bitchiness to hurt others.There are certain times when you do need to get a little bitchy, it’s called “being Assertive”.
However, when women become assertive, it is more often than not, misconstrued as being BITCHY.
This word (bitchy) offends many women, because when women get aggressive, we’re instantaneously called a Bitch, but when men do it, they are seen as being authoritative, powerful, business-like or he’s just being his normal self, he’s simply being a Man.
Double standard??? Hell…..effing YES!!!
Bitchiness, what exactly is it? Is it hormonal, environmental, seasonal, genetic or all of the above?
Women in particular, have experienced Bitchiness, once, twice, a thousand times in their lives; either by being bitchy towards someone or someone being bitchy towards them.
Men should not be overlooked on this topic because most of the time, they are the cause and/or the victims of the big B.
We don’t really know where Bitchiness originated from or why.
But, I have a theory:
Adam was the one who actually took the first bite of the apple. Realising his sin, he then conspired with the Snake (the snake being male, of course), blamed the whole incident on poor, unsuspecting, innocent female, Eve.
Eve, being the smart woman that she was, discovered the betrayal, didn’t appreciate it and didn’t see the humour in it.
So, she got assertive, then aggressive towards her conniving and supposedly loving”soul mate” hence, the first ever Bitch and the act of Bitchiness were born.
In essense, it was all Adam’s fault.
The three types of Bitches:
The Good Bitch is assertive. She knows what she wants, she knows who she is, she knows she is important and to her, she comes first.
She is Numero Uno. She is the Queen in her world and she prides herself in being the best she can be, without much thought about competing with other women. She loves her fellow women and calls them, her sisters.
She is confident enough to know her strengths and humble enough to know her weaknesses. She may look vulnerable and fragile at times but don’t be fooled, she is strong.
The Good Bitch loves her life. She loves her family and friends. But most of all, she is in love with herself (in a healthy way, of course, not conceited at all), so there is no space for her to feel envious of anybody.
Do not cross her though, because as nice, loving and caring as she is, she will forgive but will never ever forget, if you mess with her.
She will let you stew in your own concoction of delicious green “envy soup” because she is much too evolved to stoop down to your level of bad girl bitchiness.
To ignore your conniving and deceitful ways is her style, that’s just how she rolls, she’s just cool like that.
The Bad Bitch is conniving. She sees you when you’re sleeping, she knows when you’re awake and heaven forbid, she knows when you’ve been bad or worse because she has you in her sights and she thrives when you fail. You have something that she wants, she wants your life.
The little green monster is alive and well in her. Hell, it may even be her conjoined twin, for all we know.
The Bad Bitch is nice, friendly, smiling, accomodating and may even be one of your friends, or worse still, a part of your family, but this face she often uses is just her mask to conceal the big bad green monster within.
Be very careful of what you say and do when she’s around, because she can easily flip stories to her advantage and make you look like the bad guy.
She is the mean girl who is armed with an angelic smile and an insincere compliment, to distract you from her evil manipulating.
Her secret weapons, the ones she will use against you, are your trust, secrets, kindness and compassion. She will flip all that and turn your world upside down.
She is envious of your life and of you. She will copy you and declare to everyone that you are imitating her.
She has the ability to compliment and offend you at the same time and with the same breath, as she deceives with her innocent demeanor, meanwhile stabbing you in the back with a big butcher’s knife.
That’s how she rolls, or rather, that’s how she stabs. She’s very Norman Bates that way.
THE Fugly Bitch is exactly that, the effing ugly bitch. She is ugly through and through. Her soul is Evil.
She is consumed with jealousy, hatred and insecurity that she is incapable of feeling guilty of anything. Remorse is not a word in her vocabulary.
She will do anything, use anyone and make up any story she can, to get what she wants. She loves playing the victim. In her mind, she is the angel and everyone else is evil and out to get her, so obviously, she must get them first. She is extremely paranoid.
She sees herself as the “damsel in distress” who needs to be saved every single time by the people she has successfully manipulated. She does this so she doesn’t have to confront anybody, because she is a coward, the true mark of the Fugly, among other things.
She needs to feel that someone is always there to protect her, although in truth, you are the one who needs protection from this type of Bitch.
The Fugly Bitch is dangerous. She will ruin you, hurt you, or in a worst case scenario, even kill you. She will turn everyone you love against you, if she felt like it, and twist your words to suit the story to her advantage.
It is a deep hatred of herself that drives the Fugly.
There are past wounds she is still nursing that are so deep, that they may never be healed completely without professional help.
This type of Bitch is deeply disturbed. She may even be a psycopath or a sociopath. Stay the hell away from this type of Bitch.
Run like Forrest Gump if you have to. Run like the wind. Save yourself !!!
In conclusion, to be a Bitch, the correct type of Bitch, meaning the Good one, is in a way, healthy, so long as you don’t hurt anybody intentionally.
If you were thinking of turning into one, choose to be the Good Bitch.
She is the champion of all the bitches. And to be a Good Bitch is simply to become a strong woman who inspires other women.
Someone who is confident, strong willed and assertive. Someone who has a strict moral code and ethics, that the mere thought of hurting anyone, to get what she wants, is appalling to her.
The Good Bitch lives in a somewhat Nirvana, a Utopia of perfection, a place she has made for herself, where she is in total harmony with her Womanhood, at peace and comfortable in her own skin and where she knows her value above all else.
Her power and intelligence derives from knowing her worth, and her wish, is for all her sisters to feel the same way she does.
To reach this wonderful place is quite achievable. We can do it, anyone can do it.
All we need to do is, look in the mirror and discover the wonderful women we all are, and that our inner Good Bitch is waiting patiently for us to open ourselves up to the wonder and magic of her.
Free her (your Good Bitch) from her bondage and give her every opportunity to shine. Let the Good Bitch in you, out. Let her reign in your world.
Let her triumph over the Bad and the Fugly bitches, those bitches are bad news.
Let her be the beacon of light to all our incredible sisters out there, who are uncertain about themselves and who have yet to discover how amazing, fantastic and timelessly beautiful their Good Bitch truly is.
One thing is for certain, to be the Good Bitch is to be a good woman, with a heart of gold, intelligence and humility. She is also as sexy as hell, with a body that doesn’t necessarily look like a Supermodel’s, but one that feels it and exudes it, in every single movement, emotion and thought.
She is beauty personified, because her beauty shines, dazzles, illuminates every bit of her. She glows like a beam of sunshine.
She is in every single one of us, our mission is to find her.
So ladies, let us now discover our own Good Bitch, and have fun with her. I am sure that once we’ve found her and freed her, we will never hide her ever again.
And now I must bid you, Au Revoir….. Bitches!!!
Good luck and happy Good Bitching!!!
Written by: bedheadleah aka Leah: The good girl turned Bitch.
Copyright © 2016 bedheadleah. All rights reserved.
All written works solely belongs to the writer. Any unauthorized copying, altering or duplicating of any kind without the writer’s permission is strictly prohibited.