Posted in My Thoughts on Things

The “So What” Attitude….. 

 

So what…..if people think you’re weird.

So what…..if people think you smile too much or frown too much.

So what…..if people think you’re too old, too young, too Asian, too white, too black, too rich, too poor, too fat, too thin.

SO WHAT!!!

It’s none of their business what you do with your life, as long as you are living within the law of your own moral compass, always following your gut.

Live your life well. Make mistakes and learn from them.

You have a choice to be either happy or sad. Choose to be happy, you have complete power over that.

End the days of worrying what people think of you and how you do things.

Live your life happy. Live your life free from the pressure of their scrutinizing eyes, they are not important, pay no heed to them.

Draw boundaries for yourself and respect the boundaries which others have drawn for you. Do not overstep this invisible line.

Respect yourself, respect others.

Avoid the air of drama which others seem to gravitate toward, it’s toxic, don’t breathe it.

Live your life, you’re only here for a short time, use that time wisely and well.

Be honest. Be kind. Be quirky. Be happy, but most importantly, “BE YOURSELF”.

Our time is short, do not waste it.

The clock is ticking. Tick tock, TICK TOCK.

And so screams the CLOCK.

Copyright © 2018 bedheadleah. All rights reserved. All written works solely belongs to the writer. Any unauthorized copying, altering or duplicating of any kind without the writer’s permission is strictly prohibited.

 

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Posted in My Thoughts on Things

BITCHINESS: The Good, The Bad and The Fugly!!!

BITCHINESS: THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE FUGLY!!!

This is a phenomenon that we are all, sadly, aware of. We may have been a victim of it or we may have been the predator.

Let’s call it by it’s well known and often used title: BITCHINESS.

We shall use the word “bitch” here, as a positive and a tongue-in-cheek term. It erases the negative connotation attached to it and moulds it, into a positive and powerful one. It suggests a woman of substance and with depth to her character, regardless whether she chooses to turn that same character, into a malevolent or a benevolent one.

When women get together, good women that is, they normally support and care for one another. This is called SISTERHOOD. However, this Sisterhood doesn’t always triumph in environments of love and kindness. Most of the time, in situations where women get together, Sisterhood is not felt, rather, it is displayed quite exaggeratedly, through genuine fakeness.

Niceties are replaced with falsities. Some women are champions at this.

Fake smiles, fake compliments , fake kindness are used, to mask the real feelings of envy, jealousy, and dare I say, plain nastiness for the sake of being nasty. And this is when Bitchiness shows its ugly, horrible head.

I read somewhere that, girls compete with each other while women support and encourage one another. This statement explains a whole lot.

Grown women, wise women, mature and confident women support each other because they are confident in who they are, while girls have cat fights or passive aggressive, silent treatment battles.

If a person is happy in their own skin, happy with their life and happy with themselves, then there would be no space in their hearts to carry malice and negativity towards another person.

This is how grown women are. They encourage their fellow women, they support, they give genuine compliments and they lift their sisters up.  This is where Sisterhood thrives and wins. It is the bond of the Sisterhood. However, there is always a downside to everything.

There are “little girls” who disguise themselves as grown women and make trouble out of an otherwise peaceful unity between the sisters, hence, Bitchiness rears its ugly head again.

This brings us to a whole slew of questions that men have asked for centuries. Perhaps even Adam had serious discussions about Eve with God, or with the dreaded snake, depending on how bitchy Eve got.

However, why would we call being Bitchy, bad?

It shouldn’t be, unless you use your bitchiness to hurt others.There are certain times when you do need to get a little bitchy, it’s called “being Assertive”.

However, when women become assertive, it is more often than not, misconstrued as being BITCHY.

This word (bitchy) offends many women, because when women get aggressive, we’re instantaneously called a Bitch, but when men do it, they are seen as being authoritative, powerful, business-like or he’s just being his normal self, he’s simply being a Man.

Double standard??? Hell…..effing YES!!!

Bitchiness, what exactly is it? Is it hormonal, environmental, seasonal, genetic or all of the above?

Women in particular, have experienced Bitchiness, once, twice, a thousand times in their lives; either by being bitchy towards someone or someone being bitchy towards them.

Men should not be overlooked on this topic because most of the time, they are the cause and/or the victims of the big B.

We don’t really know where Bitchiness originated from or why.

But, I have a theory:

Adam was the one who actually took the first bite of the apple. Realising his sin, he then conspired with the Snake (the snake being male, of course), blamed the whole incident on poor, unsuspecting, innocent female, Eve. 

Eve, being the smart woman that she was, discovered the betrayal, didn’t appreciate it and didn’t see the humour in it.

So, she got assertive, then aggressive towards her conniving and supposedly loving”soul mate” hence, the first ever Bitch and the act of Bitchiness were born.

In essense, it was all Adam’s fault.

The three types of Bitches:

THE GOOD:

The Good Bitch is assertive. She knows what she wants, she knows who she is, she knows she is important and to her, she comes first.

She is Numero Uno. She is the Queen in her world and she prides herself in being the best she can be, without much thought about competing with other women. She loves her fellow women and calls them, her sisters.

She is confident enough to know her strengths and humble enough to know her weaknesses. She may look vulnerable and fragile at times but don’t be fooled, she is strong.

The Good Bitch loves her life. She loves her family and friends. But most of all, she is in love with herself (in a healthy way, of course, not conceited at all), so there is no space for her to feel envious of anybody. 

Do not cross her though, because as nice, loving and caring as she is, she will forgive but will never ever forget, if you mess with her. 

She will let you stew in your own concoction of delicious green “envy soup” because she is much too evolved to stoop down to your level of bad girl bitchiness. 

To ignore your conniving and deceitful ways is her style, that’s just how she rolls, she’s just cool like that.

THE BAD:

The Bad Bitch is conniving. She sees you when you’re sleeping, she knows when you’re awake and heaven forbid, she knows when you’ve been bad or worse because she has you in her sights and she thrives when you fail. You have something that she wants, she wants your life.

The little green monster is alive and well in her. Hell, it may even be her conjoined twin, for all we know.

The Bad Bitch is nice, friendly, smiling, accomodating and may even be one of your friends, or worse still, a part of your family, but this face she often uses is just her mask to conceal the big bad green monster within.

Be very careful of what you say and do when she’s around, because she can easily flip stories to her advantage and make you look like the bad guy.

She is the mean girl who is armed with an angelic smile and an insincere compliment, to distract you from her evil manipulating.

Her secret weapons, the ones she will use against you, are your trust, secrets, kindness and compassion. She will flip all that and turn your world upside down.

She is envious of your life and of you. She will copy you and declare to everyone that you are imitating her.

She has the ability to compliment and offend you at the same time and with the same breath, as she deceives with her innocent demeanor, meanwhile stabbing you in the back with a big butcher’s knife.

That’s how she rolls, or rather, that’s how she stabs. She’s very Norman Bates that way.

THE FUGLY:

THE Fugly Bitch is exactly that, the effing ugly bitch. She is ugly through and through. Her soul is Evil.

She is consumed with jealousy, hatred and insecurity that she is incapable of feeling guilty of anything. Remorse is not a word in her vocabulary.

She will do anything, use anyone and make up any story she can, to get what she wants. She loves playing the victim. In her mind, she is the angel and everyone else is evil and out to get her, so obviously, she must get them first. She is extremely paranoid.

She sees herself as the “damsel in distress” who needs to be saved every single time by the people she has successfully manipulated. She does this so she doesn’t have to confront anybody, because she is a coward, the true mark of the Fugly, among other things.

She needs to feel that someone is always there to protect her, although in truth, you are the one who needs protection from this type of Bitch.

The Fugly Bitch is dangerous. She will ruin you, hurt you, or in a worst case scenario, even kill you. She will turn everyone you love against you, if she felt like it, and twist your words to suit the story to her advantage. 

It is a deep hatred of herself that drives the Fugly.

There are past wounds she is still nursing that are so deep, that they may never be healed completely without professional help.

This type of Bitch is deeply disturbed. She may even be a psycopath or a sociopath. Stay the hell away from this type of Bitch.

Run like Forrest Gump if you have to. Run like the wind. Save yourself !!!

In conclusion, to be a  Bitch, the correct type of Bitch, meaning the Good one, is in a way, healthy, so long as you don’t hurt anybody intentionally.

If you were thinking of turning into one, choose to be the Good Bitch.

She is the champion of all the bitches. And to be a Good Bitch is simply to become a strong woman who inspires other women.

Someone who is confident, strong willed and assertive. Someone who has a strict moral code and ethics, that the mere thought of hurting anyone, to get what she wants, is appalling to her. 

The Good Bitch lives in a somewhat Nirvana, a Utopia of perfection, a place she has made for herself, where she is in total harmony with her Womanhood, at peace and comfortable in her own skin and where she knows her value above all else. 

Her power and intelligence derives from knowing her worth, and her wish, is for all her sisters to feel the same way she does. 

To reach this wonderful place is quite achievable. We can do it, anyone can do it. 

All we need to do is, look in the mirror and discover the wonderful women we all are, and that our inner Good Bitch is waiting patiently for us to open ourselves up to the wonder and magic of her. 

Free her (your Good Bitch) from her bondage and give her every opportunity to shine. Let the Good Bitch in you, out. Let her reign in your world.

Let her triumph over the Bad and the Fugly bitches, those bitches are bad news. 

Let her be the beacon of light to all our incredible sisters out there, who are uncertain about themselves and who have yet to discover how amazing, fantastic and timelessly beautiful their Good Bitch truly is. 

One thing is for certain, to be the Good Bitch is to be a good woman, with a heart of gold, intelligence and humility. She is also as sexy as hell, with a body that doesn’t necessarily look like a Supermodel’s, but one that feels it and exudes it, in every single movement, emotion and thought. 

She is beauty personified, because her beauty shines, dazzles, illuminates every bit of her. She glows like a beam of sunshine. 

She is in every single one of us, our mission is to find her. 

So ladies, let us now discover our own Good Bitch, and have fun with her. I am sure that once we’ve found her and freed her, we will never hide her ever again. 

And now I must bid you, Au Revoir….. Bitches!!!

Good luck and happy Good Bitching!!!

Written by: bedheadleah aka Leah: The good girl turned Bitch.

Copyright © 2016 bedheadleah. All rights reserved.
 All written works solely belongs to the writer. Any unauthorized copying, altering or duplicating of any kind without the writer’s permission is strictly prohibited.

Posted in My Thoughts on Things, Uncategorized

Life: Make Yours A Brilliant One

What is life, what is the meaning of the word?

Life can be described in many ways and in many words.

I can supply you with a plethora of different descriptions to explain this mammoth of a word and yet in its simplicity, it is often described as fun, hard, loss, gain, family, love and possibly the most significant of all is this…….. Life is Hope.

Regardless of how you view Life, it is here now. It is staring you in the face. So, what are you going to do with it?

For me, Life has been quite rough these last few years. Problems came and kept on coming. One on top of another, and then another. I told myself I could handle one or two problems at a time but never six or seven all at once.

However, I realised one cannot pick and choose the lessons one is meant to learn. They come on their own accord and present themselves at the exact right time and place when one is in need of them. And so they came, they saw and they definitely kicked my butt (Ghostbusters reference here).

I’m not complaining though, not anymore, because I am slowly coming to terms with why my circumstances drastically changed. My dreams of achieving my carefully planned future did not turn out as desired, and instead, an exact opposite and most unexpected future now faced me.

Life became infuriatingly frustrating and it stayed that way for many years. During my hellishly trying times, I questioned my strength or lack thereof. I realised that my strength came in the form of my husband, my family and the biggest surprise of all……myself.

I used to lament, why me? I used to cry about it. WHY ME?

However, it became tiresome and the “why me” game was exhausting.

It played with my head and I found myself caught in its web. Like a helpless insect, I was powerless from the spider who was to devour me. I was trapped in an endless and inescapable web of confusion, denial, depression, blame and total surrender to both hopelessness and helplessness.

In hindsight, I could have done things differently, but when situations occur beyond our control, we have no choice but to accept and learn from them.

I have a theory that at the moment when we finally figure out what Life is all about, it is also at this same moment that we pass on from this world. Bluntly put, this is when we die.

My reasoning for this is simple. We will have solved the mystery, the huge mysterious puzzle that was Life.

Or we will have played our part in the greater scheme of things. We will have played our role in this huge movie that this Higher Power (whichever name you wish to call it, I call mine, God), is directing. We now make way for the new players to enter and take their part in this movie called Life. And now, we could finally sit back, grab a drink and watch it, while God sits right beside us, on the Director’s chair.

Hopefully, on the moment of passing, we will finally make perfect sense of all our trials and tribulations during our time here and to realise that all were for a higher purpose or at least not spent in vain.

I’d like to think that Life is a puzzle we are meant to attempt to solve. The operative word is “attempt”.

We are all here for a specific purpose and regardless of our own unique paths, we all are pieces of a much larger plan, all connected to each other somehow.

It is reassuring to know that we are part of something so massively colossal in that, even the greatest minds of our time are unable to understand nor explain what Life truly is and why we are here.

We can theorize, we can speculate and assume, but we don’t really know the answer. We may find it when we pass from this world, however, that is only my own theory.

To comprehend Life or even attempt to, is what keeps us going. It is our fuel to strive for a better life and to be better people. Understanding it, becomes our mission.

Frankly speaking, it sucks to not to be a billionaire, a movie star, a genius or a beautifully stunning person. Life would be better if we were, wouldn’t it? However, all of that is unimportant. We are so much more than our fortunes or misfortunes in life. When we get down to the basics of it, we all have our own crosses to bear.

The grass is never greener on the other side, it just appears that way from afar. Look closely and you will find little weeds growing everywhere, even when the lawn is a multi-million dollar one.

There is not one person in this whole world who can say they are devoid of any problems. Life, with all its imperfections, is a compelling journey. Hassles are there to make us grow. It is how we evolve into better human beings.

I am certain that even the most enlightened person such as a Tibetan monk encounters a pesky fly from time to time, while he is deep in meditation.

Does he break his concentration just to squash the fly? I think not. He will not even mind it, let alone harm it, because his focus is absolute.

He is one with his peace and his world is still. Nothing, not even a fly will stand in the way of his enlightenment. This is not to say that he is devoid of any troubles, he just chooses to focus on complete serenity above all else, and in return, he owns it completely.

So, is this what Life is suppose to be, to not let little things bother us? To let things slide?

How about larger problems, how do we let those slide?

Don’t ask me, I have no clue. And furthermore, nobody really has an answer to that. We have to figure it out ourselves as we all have problems specifically tailored for each and everyone of us. Now, don’t you feel extra special to know that the problem you have is specially written just for you? Isn’t that just grand? (A very lighthearted sarcasm is intended here).

All I can say with conviction is this…..after all is said and done, after the fat lady has sung, after that same fat lady had lost weight and had turned herself into a Supermodel, after all jokes are set aside and in the end of it all………Life is still beautiful, there is no question about it.

It is highly unpredictable. It is crazy and interesting. It is precious, it truly is. Just look around you, even in the poorest and most poverty stricken places in the world, people still believe in Hope. And they can still Smile.

I guess at the end of the day, Life matters and it follows Hope without fail. These two work so well together. They compliment each other. And so, tomorrow is another day where we will always find Hope.

My view of Life somehow differs now, I am more attuned to it, more aware of the things I say and do. I no longer take it too seriously but treat it seriously enough when maturity is required.

Happiness, Gratitude and Candour are now my absolutes.

Serenity is my mountain to conquer and at this very moment, I stand at the bottom of it, staring in complete awe of its Majesticness. And if and when I make any mistakes, apologies are sincerely and genuinely offered with humility. And my lessons are learned wholeheartedly.

My life is by no means any easier, as crosses are still borne and lessons are still learned, but I am now mindfully respectful of the Life I’ve been privileged to live, and I equally revere, treasure and adore it.

Life is anything but easy, however, it certainly looks brighter when your view is crystal clear.

In this Life, Patience is the key that opens the door. Lessons are the doors which are opened when we learn. And Hope is the doorway that leads us to a Life worth living.

Enjoy your Life, you only have one.

Make it a brilliant one.


Copyright © 2015 bedheadleah. All rights reserved.
 All written works solely belongs to the writer. Any unauthorized copying, altering or duplicating of any kind without the writer’s permission is strictly prohibited.

Posted in My Thoughts on Things

STOP DRAGGING YOUR FEET – Pet peeves that rub you the wrong way.

I am a very nice person who can tolerate pretty much anything. I try to see people in their most positive light as much as I can, however I also have quite a fair few pet peeves with which, for the life of me, I cannot be Zen about.

The ones I have listed below are the most annoying ones for me. It may not be as annoying to some people, but for me, these ones drive me INSANE.

So, without further ado, here are 12 of my most hated pet peeves.

12) Low rider jeans – I must admit, low rider jeans are sexy……on a super skinny girl. BUT and this is a huge BUT…….if you are slightly chubby, a little ample in all the wrong places, like most of us are, please DO NOT wear these jeans. I am all for girl power, don’t get me wrong, however there are limits to what we real women can wear and get away with.

I do not want to see muffin tops, butt cracks and extra flesh that look like baked bread that has overflowed over your jeans. It offends the eyes and insults the intelligence. Are you trying to pull a fast one on us, because you’re not really fooling anyone.

It may have fit you, you may have snuggled and squeezed into them, but the rest of your squeezed up flesh has to come out somewhere and that somewhere is the space atop your teeny tiny super skinny jeans.

You are not skinny just because you managed to snuggle inside those jeans.

Do not fool yourself. And do not listen to your husband/ boyfriend/ friend/ best friend when they tell you that you don’t look fat, they are lying to you.

Listen instead to your inner voice, the one that tells it like it is, no holds barred. She is the only voice you should listen to. If she says you look ridiculous and orders you to remove it immediately, do it right away, without delay.

Come on, you are a big girl, you can handle the truth, so, take them off now because some of us here are trying to eat their lunch in peace.

 

11) Saying hello and being ignored. – I think this is so very rude.

When someone takes time to smile and say hello or good morning to you, have the decency to reciprocate. It is only proper manners, even if you don’t like that person.

Civility is paramount especially in the work place, unless of course,  you really despise that person for something that they’ve done to you, then I suppose you’re off the hook, but then again, prove to them that you are better than that and keep up with your morning greeting to that person or persons.

Make them aware that you have manners and that these petty annoyances are beneath you. Rise above all that crap, you are better than that.

10) People who cut their nails in public – When in the world did this ever become acceptable in public?

I catch the train to work every morning like many people do in Sydney. It is easier, more convenient and faster.

I have witnessed many a time where some ill-mannered person has cut their nails in front of everyone, totally oblivious to the nasty stares and disgusted looks of other passengers.

I don’t care if you were running late and did not have time to groom yourself, you just DO NOT cut your nails in public.

First of all, it is disgusting.

Second of all, it is Disgusting.

Third of all, it is DISGUSTING!!!!!

Need I say more???!!!!

 

9) Small talk on Monday mornings with workmates who choose to share every single detail of their weekend with you even though you are not close to them – First of all, if you are not close to me and you are not my usual close friend/ friends at work, I really don’t give a damn what you did on the weekend. We are not friends, hence my lack of interest. I don’t care what you did, who you did, what you bought, where you ate and who you met.

It is much too early in the morning to hear your perfect fake life. Let me have my morning coffee first, no, on second thought, go tell someone else about your weekend, because I am not in the mood. If we are not close, I really don’t care about your private life. Save all your bragging or whining for someone who will stand there and actually appear interested in your adventures or misadventures.

Let us not keep up this facade and live our lives with truth.

So, the next time you want to whine about your boyfriend/girlfriend/ wife/ husband/ kids/ the boss, please remember this……..I have problems of my own and if you are going to bitch about nonsensical things to me and we are not “buddies”, hold your tongue and save it for someone who would grin and bear it and be nice enough to feign interest.

I will only say this once, I don’t care, there, I said it, now go bother somebody else and leave me with my thoughts and my coffee.

8) Alighting from trains and elevators – When did it become acceptable for people to rush in without first waiting for the other people to alight?

I have observed this time and time again and it is not only school children who do this, it is teenagers and also grown men and women, adults who should know better.

We, as adults should be setting an example for the children to follow, but some of us fail miserably and epically in this department, and so we end up raising children who grow up into adults who know nothing about manners.

Our society has become “every man/woman for him/herself”. This is not good.

In a few more years time, we will have become a society of non-caring, ill mannered neanderthals who have forgotten the few but simple rules we need to follow in life and we will have failed our ancestors and the human race all together.

What a sad sad day it would be when Martians finally make contact with us and discover a race of rude, crass, Troglodytic bunch of selfish Earthlings. But then again , the Martians or any other more intelligent species than us will have just eaten us or blown us sky high and be done with it all.

 

7) People who drag their feet – I hate it when people drag their feet when they walk. It is so very annoying to my ears and I feel like lifting their legs up so the noise won’t annoy me.

This has turned rampant now, I’ve noticed, with most young people. They walk around dragging their feet and making such terrible dragging noises. Are their feet heavier that they cannot lift them up? Are they just plain lazy? Do they just not care that they are annoying the hell out of everybody?

I remember being angry a few years ago in our apartment. I think the hubby and I had a major fight that day. When everything had died down and we were both calmed down a bit, I heard this dragging sound coming from the hallway outside. It was a tiled hallway where every action had an echo.

Our young neighbor from upstairs who had always annoyed me with her walking (I’m sure she was a nice young lady, but on this particular day, I was Livid), was coming home from work with her heavy dragging feet which made such a commotion.

Imagine, if you will, the sound of those feet being dragged all across the cold, tiled floor of the hallway and my temper not quite simmered down yet. My blood began to boil once more and soon enough, it exploded.

So, like any annoyed woman with PMS would do if she were in my shoes, and remember I was livid, I screamed at the top of my voice…… “STOP DRAGGING YOUR FEEEEEEEEEEET”.

I heard her stop and as I looked through our peephole, I could see her picking up her feet and walking carefully and as quietly and softly to her apartment as she could, as if her life depended on it and quite honestly, at that particular moment, it probably did,  judging by the veins pulsating on my neck, the poor girl tip toed her way home.

Yes, I’m a bitch, but it had to be done.

6) People who constantly step over or ignore your boundaries – There are people in our lives who push too much sometimes in the relationships we share with them.

They over stay their welcome. They over step the boundaries that you have set for them. Some are so self involved that they fail to realize that they have over stepped, jumped, twirled and cartwheeled all over your boundaries.

We all have our personal spaces. It is about an arm’s length from our bodies.

Unfortunately, some people ignore this and are nose to nose attached to us. We can smell their breath and know what they had for lunch, figuratively speaking of course, otherwise…….EWWWW!!!!. And at other times, they are so close, you can see them digest their food. Again…..EWWWWW!!!!

5) Being taken for granted – Sometimes when we love, we love too much. We will have done anything for that person or persons regardless of the consequences that may have befallen us.

I show my love in this way. There is no other way I know how being a passionate Scorpio. I give my 200 percent whenever I can feel that the other person is deemed worthy of my love, time and attention.

Unfortunately, there are times when we show too much love and sadly we are taken for granted.

When this happens to me and trust me it has happened many times with friends and family, it takes me forever to gain that trust again. It feels like such a betrayal when you give your all and it is either ignored or tossed aside like a piece of crumpled paper.

This is when you feel you’ve lost everything and you listen to a few sad songs, belt out some rock ballads, write in your journal and swear like your life depended on it and when you are spent, you pick yourself up and realize that it is their loss not yours, you don’t need to grieve over a one-sided relationship because you deserve so much more and so you try to do good again.

Such is life and then we eat cake, put some lipstick on and face the world again, only this time, wiser and sadly more guarded and jaded but with great looking lips and a much sharper wit.

4) Picking your nose in public – When was this ever considered normal and accepted human behavior to be exercised in public? Was there a memo that came out and they’d neglected to send me a copy?

There is a time and place for everything and picking your nose in public belongs in the privacy of a confined space where nobody can see you.

I  just saw a grown woman walk past me with half her arm up her nose.

I was aghast, I am  aghast and will be forever aghast by this behavior. There is no justification for it.

This woman was totally unaware of the people around her, totally oblivious as to how shocking her actions were. And she did it as she walked passed a dining area, where people ate and enjoyed their food. I simply cannot drink my soy latte now. Somehow, what I just witnessed, has left a terrible taste in my mouth.

Why oh why do you want to pick your nose in public anyway, it is disgusting, unattractive, rude, obnoxious, uncouth and oh hell, it is just wrong!!! What is wrong with people???

3) Your phone, tablet or laptop is not as important as me – Whenever I go out to eat nowadays, I have a game that I play in my head. I try to count how many people go out to dinner and end up totally ignoring each other as they take pictures of their food, or themselves to post on social media. After all, your social media perfect fake life is more important than the great company of your loved ones, right?

The saddest I’ve ever seen was a family consisting of the parents and two teenage children. They were seated just a table away from my husband and I.

This normal family looked like any other family and as I observed them, I noticed that everyone had their phones and tablets out on the table and every single one of them were online. Nobody was talking to anybody. And sadder still, it didn’t occur to them that they were totally ignoring each other. It was just normal to them. There was a beautiful meal in front of them, their loved ones were right there with them and yet nobody cared. It was a sad and pathetic sight indeed.

Does anyone even remember anymore how it used to be when phones were just used for calling and computers were found only in the office and/or home?

These were the great times when people talked to one another, laughed at each others’ jokes and got to know each other through the simple act of sharing. Sharing food, sharing company, sharing information, sharing their day, sharing jokes and sharing their love for one another.

Those were great times. And they can still be had, if only we put down our phones, eat a meal and talk to one another.

2) Fakeness on Facebook and any social media – This may gain me a few haters out there but I will say it anyway.

I HATE people who convey a perfect life on Facebook. There I said, hate me if you will.

They take pictures of their perfected photo shopped selfies, duck lips enhanced, faces contoured and hair extensions straightened, with their perfect lives, happy faces, and loving husbands, who declare their love with a long list of over exaggerated descriptions of their angelic, saintly, celestial and ethereal wives.

To top it all off, pictures of their perfect pets, huge spotless houses and brand new expensive cars are plastered all over social media for all to see, for all to oggle over and for all to envy.

Behind closed doors though, and I say this with certainty as I have observed many a friend with perfect smiles who hide behind the “perfection”, that we are all over-compensating on Facebook.

I suppose we all do it up to a certain degree, be it to cover an empty life, a lonely life, a boring life, a marriage breakdown, depression, a divorce, low self esteem, narcissistic personality, plain jealousy, insecurities or hubris?

None of us is ever perfect, and thank goodness for that. It is hard enough being a good person without fronting fake perfection to keep up the charade. It’s exhausting.

We are made of little imperfections. It is what being human is all about.

We live in a world, we move around in a body and we live a life filled with imperfections whichever way we turn. So why force perfection when imperfection is what we are truly made of and it is what makes us all unique.

It is the invisible glue that somehow keeps us all connected, regardless of all our differences.Why not embrace our imperfection and live a unique and interesting life, complete with grubby fingers and messy hair. Isn’t that a more achievable life to strive for and more fun?

So, why must we cover it up? Why must we deny this life we have been blessed to live?

Why must we lie about the most normal and natural of things? Because it is better than facing reality, I suppose.

Just keep in mind though, whatever perfection you try to project on Facebook, don’t forget that there are people who actually know who you  are and how imperfect your life truly is, just like everyone else’.

You are no better or worse than any of us. We are all sufferers of insecurities, regardless of how hard we try to hide them. Hide it if you must. Work on it, if you must.  But don’t fake it to impress people you don’t really care for and are too shallow to see past your facade and dig deeper to discover the real you, warts, tantrums and all, because at the end of the day, we all wear different masks and  have different moods, it’s just who we are.

We are all on the same boat. We all have problems. Why live in a world of La-la-land where unicorns roam and problems puff up into pretty pink smoke, when we can live life realistically and with truth regardless of how crappy it can be sometimes and yet it can also be beautiful the rest of the time. That’s Life, it’s as simple as that.

1) Broken promises – I was raised with the motto Your Word is Your Bond.

My parents instilled in my siblings and I the importance of it and how paramount it was to keep a promise.

Our parents always said that although we were born lacking silver spoons in our mouths, we could always hold our heads high if we lived by this logic, regardless of what our economic status were in life.

It defined who you were and it built a solid character with which you could be proud. It built your Integrity as a person which no amount of wealth could ever afford. It was your moral wealth and your upper hand in the world.

For me, a promise is Sacred. This is why when someone I deem important in my life makes a promise and breaks it, because perhaps it wasn’t as important to them as it was for me, my heart breaks and I treat it as a betrayal that I cannot and will not easily forget.

A promise is an invisible contract and contracts should always be held to the highest regard. And if a promise is broken, there should be a valid reason for it not to be kept.

It is not easy keeping a promise, sometimes you inadvertently break a few hearts, but a kept promise builds trust in people, and Trust is all that matters in relationships.

It is easier to never make a promise you cannot keep and upset someone a little, rather than to make a promise then break it, breaking someone’s heart a lot.

Copyright © 2015 bedheadleah. All rights reserved.
 All written works solely belongs to the writer. Any unauthorized copying, altering or duplicating of any kind without the writer’s permission is strictly prohibitedw

Posted in My Thoughts on Things

I WANT MY SPACE!!!! – When your boundaries are crossed.

Lately, I’ve been feeling quite detached from everyone and everything. It has been a personal choice rather than anything else. My boundaries have been crossed and my biggest pet peeve in the world is….surprise, surprise……when “my boundaries” are crossed, like milk and bread on a shopping list.

Have you ever been in a public place and someone ignores your personal space? Perhaps they’re not big on personal spaces, perhaps they were never taught it or it could be a cultural thing, but to be perfectly candid, when this happens to me, when I’m standing in a queue in an “All You Can Eat Buffet” and I feel your breath on my neck and your chin is almost resting on my shoulder, you can bet your roast pork and gravy that you either receive a “death stare” from me, if I were feeling cheery that day or a sarcastic remark that could slice through leather like hot blade through butter, if I were feeling extra “bitchy”.

I don’t understand how some people are the way they are anymore. I think my Zen self has taken a much deserved vacation. I have given up on understanding why people do what they do, to a certain degree.

Family is a hot topic when it comes to respecting personal space and boundaries. It is a touchy subject, bordering on delicate, and almost as delicate as a Lalique crystal vase is on a three year old’s grubby hands. They care, this much is true, but sometimes their caring turns in to meddling and as much as you love them to death, they also need to be told as nicely as you can muster, the things you will tolerate and the things you will not. Some family members just want to get in your business. Is this because they just don’t have anything else to do with their lives? Perhaps they are lonely? Perhaps, they’re just nosy? Perhaps, they love you too, too much? Regardless of the reason, they just don’t understand that that invisible line drawn is actually a boundary.

Sometimes, there are people who want you to do something for them and when you say “no”, clearly exercising your right to have “boundaries”, they keep on asking, and pester you and nag you, hoping that one day you will eventually give in and say yes to them. And when you notify them that you will definitely not do it, they pout and sulk in the corner and then have the audacity to pout and sulk some more. These people can be toxic to you, stay away as much as you can because they will never accept your rules and regulations in life, ergo your boundaries don’t mean (excuse me for the unlady-like language but this word is the only one that can justify the seriousness of this point) shit to them.

Whatever happened to taking “no” for an answer with dignity, flair, class and most of all, understanding? I mean, we have to respect people’s wishes, don’t we? Isn’t it just morally right to do so? Some people just don’t understand the concept. They make you out to be the bad person when all you are doing is standing your ground, because it is your God given right. Oh, I shrug my shoulders in confusion and exhaustion.

Another case in point is when you’ve reached your absolute breaking point and you are angry beyond belief. You’ve lost all rhyme and reason and your head is about to explode. It shows on your face and steam is coming out of your nostrils and ears. You are LIVID!!!! And yet there is this one friend you have, who just does not see this. They are oblivious to your anger and does not know that they have to leave you for a minute or two to re-group yourself. You just want to be left alone and yet they continue to get in your face.

Do they not see the danger in this? Do they not see your face and how red it is? Do they have a death wish? And you must keep reminding yourself that it is morally wrong and against your pacifist beliefs to punch someone in the face at times like these and yet you really and truly want to. Can’t we at least pinch their nose real hard until it is as red as Rudolph’s?

During these times, we do need a lot of self control for the simple fact that some people are just plain clueless with regard to boundaries. Perhaps, they don’t care. Or, they grew up without boundaries set out for them. Or, they do not see other people’s needs, only their own and that the whole world revolves around them and them alone.

I could go on forever listing people’s shortcomings and their annoying habits but the moral here is this, we have to be attuned to people’s feelings and give them their space when they clearly are in need of it. Take a minute and step back, consider their feelings, put aside your own and have some respect for their boundaries, as I am certain you would want people to have the same respect for you.

It is solely a question of respect for one another. Some people have it instinctively, some people have to be taught it and sadly, there are a rare few who do not understand the concept at all, regardless of how hard you explain it. For these rare few gems in the world who are oblivious to this phenomenon, my heart goes out to you, may you have a safe life going about it in this way and here’s hoping that someday you will learn the error of your ways and give people their much deserved space or you will get punched in the face if you’re not careful.

Copyright © 2015 bedheadleah. All rights reserved.
 All written works solely belongs to the writer. Any unauthorized copying, altering or duplicating of any kind without the writer’s permission is strictly prohibited.

Posted in empowering, melancholy, Poetry is cool

Soon Enough

Soon Enough

A single tear rolls down
the cheek of a face
filled with inner demons.

A smile slowly forms
as a new attitude emerges,
much brighter
with maturity
and much knowing.

A dark cloud has been present
for sometime,
but that cloud
has finally changed its color
to a creamy white.

Sunshine has seeped in
through the cracks of these walls
which have been purposely built
to prevent anyone from entering.

Birds are heard chirping softly.
Soon they will be louder and more pronounced,
but for now, just knowing they are out there
is quite enough.

The weather man predicts a little wind,
a little cloudy, with a chance of rain.

At long last, no more storms up ahead.
Tomorrow will be a better day.

The tear will fade soon.

A smile will emerge,
and it will broaden
to show some teeth.
Soon…….
Soon enough.

Copyright © 2015 bedheadleah. All rights reserved.
 All written works solely belongs to the writer. Any unauthorized copying, altering or duplicating of any kind without the writer’s permission is strictly prohibited.

Posted in Poetry is cool

A HOMELESS PRINCESS

A HOMELESS PRINCESS

I sit by a frozen Twinkie,
letting the rain wash my filthiness.
The soil disappears from my face,
and you can see its former kindness.

The night brings with it evil,
under poorly lit street lamps.
Souls unclean try to break me,
but I am not made of delicate glass.

Once I was part of a fairytale,
a long and winded yet joyous one.
I was a princess with my prince,
living in a land underneath the golden sun.

A blissful place to be,
a wonderment only found in books.
Yet storybooks do not tell all,
hidden in them are trusted crooks.

My once wonderful world of bliss
is gone now, and also forgotten.
The ones who had banished me,
were the ones my heart had chosen.

And so I sit by my frozen Twinkie,
letting go of that long ago past.
My tale would make an interesting movie,
but I fear my days are fading fast .

Copyright © 2015 bedheadleah. All rights reserved.
 All written works solely belongs to the writer. Any unauthorized copying, altering or duplicating of any kind without the writer’s permission is strictly prohibited.