Lately, I’ve been feeling quite detached and disconnected from everyone and everything. My boundaries have been crossed and I hate it when that happens.
Have you ever been in a public place and someone ignores your personal space?
Perhaps they’re not big on personal spaces, perhaps they were never taught it or perhaps it’s a cultural thing, but to be perfectly candid, when this happens to me, when I’m standing in a queue in an “All You Can Eat Buffet” and I feel your breath on my neck and your chin is almost resting on my shoulder, you can bet your roast pork and gravy that you either receive a “death stare” from me, if I were feeling cheery that day or a sarcastic remark that could slice through leather like hot blade through butter, if I were feeling extra “bitchy”.
I don’t understand how some people are the way they are anymore. I think my Zen self has taken a much deserved vacation. I have given up on understanding why people do what they do.
Family is a hot topic when it comes to respecting personal space and boundaries.
It is a touchy subject, bordering on delicate, and almost as delicate as a Lalique crystal vase is on a three year old’s grubby hands.
They care, this much is true, but sometimes their caring turns in to meddling and as much as you love them to death, they also need to be told as nicely as you can muster, the things you will tolerate and the things you will not.
Some family members just want to get in your business. Is this because they just don’t have anything else to do with their lives? Perhaps they are lonely? Perhaps, they’re just nosey? Perhaps, they love you too, too much? Regardless of the reason, they just don’t understand that that invisible line drawn is actually a “boundary”.
Sometimes, there are people who want you to do something for them and when you say “no”, clearly exercising your right to have “boundaries”, they keep on asking, and pester you and nag you, hoping that one day you will eventually give in and say yes to them. And when you notify them that your answer is still “no”, they pout and sulk in the corner and then have the audacity to pout and sulk some more.
These people can be toxic to you, stay away as much as you can from them, because they will never accept your rules and regulations in life, ergo your boundaries don’t mean (excuse me for the unlady-like language but this word is the only one that can justify the seriousness of this point) shit to them.
Whatever happened to taking “no” for an answer with dignity, flair, class and most of all, understanding?
I mean, we have to respect people’s wishes, don’t we? Isn’t it just morally right to do so, and respectful may I add. Some people just don’t understand the concept. It’s alien to them.
They make you out to be the bad person when all you are doing is standing your ground, because it is your God given right. Oh, I shrug my shoulders in confusion and exhaustion.
Another case in point is when you’ve reached your absolute breaking point and you are angry beyond belief. You’ve lost all rhyme and reason and your head is about to explode.
It shows on your face and steam is coming out of your nostrils and ears. You are LIVID!!!!
You just want to be left alone and yet they continue to get in your face.
Do they not see the danger in this? Do they not see your face and how red it is? Do they have a death wish? And you must keep reminding yourself that it is morally wrong and against your pacifist beliefs to punch someone in the face at times like these and yet you really and truly want to.
During these times, we do need a lot of self control for the simple fact that some people are just plain clueless with regard to boundaries.
Perhaps, they don’t care. Or, they grew up without boundaries set out for them. Or, they do not see other people’s needs, only their own and that the whole world revolves around them and them alone.
I could go on forever listing people’s shortcomings and their annoying habits but the moral here is this, we have to be attuned to people’s feelings and give them their space when they clearly are in need of it.
Take a minute and step back, consider their feelings, put aside your own and have some respect for their boundaries, as I am certain you would want people to have the same respect for you.
It is solely a question of respect for one another. Some people have it instinctively, some people have to be taught it and sadly, there are a rare few who do not understand the concept at all, regardless of how hard you explain it.
For these rare few gems in the world who are oblivious to this, my heart goes out to you, may you have a safe life going about it in this way and here’s hoping that someday you will learn the error of your ways and give people their much deserved space or you will get punched in the face if you’re not careful. Just let that sink in for a minute or two.
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